dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
