I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
