How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
