Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think your dad took our porno
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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