I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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