So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
