Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
