My hand turned me down
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
