Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
