How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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