please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
