The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
