My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
