No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
