Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
