At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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