Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
