he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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