just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize