you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I pour the whiskey from now on
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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