all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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