i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
