I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
