I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
