I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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