I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
