Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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