It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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