He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
splinters make it hard to masturbate
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize