New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
