How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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