No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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