Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
