how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
