I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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