Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
