Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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