I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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