ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
