This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
