she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
