so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Welp...herpes.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize