I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
im holly from the hills drunk
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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