All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
