i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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