hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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