You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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