I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize