I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I want to have your abortion
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
