perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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