Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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