remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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