just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
