Dual....:-)
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
