I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize