we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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