My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
