RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I love you. Go after that dick
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
