I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
whose parrot is this?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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