yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
