It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
