the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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