You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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