I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
